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Some days my thoughts are sallow and filled with regret.
I wonder if I’ll have money.
If that will make up for the “things I’ve done”
Comfort can’t come from truth, because I have not always been a ready participant.
I’m a whore for love. I’m dilapidated with the need for someone to care about me.
And this is so weak.
It is my emotion that is my degradation?
Or my... Flippant treatment of other people’s heart..
I don’t know if honesty could fix this.
to be honest.
I know how much too much truth can hurt people.

I go to work now.
I wonder if you think of the life behind the eyes of your waitress.
Is she happy?
Is she thinking about what she’s going to do..


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